As a kid growing up adult movies were the ones in which adults talked to each other and not much else. They talked about their relationships. They talked about their love lives. They talked of the lack of either or both. But mainly there was a lot of talking going on. When you’re six years old your entertainment value is stuff blowing up, laser rifles, and maybe even “Yo, Joe!” or “Autobots, roll out!” You don’t get what the adults are saying and they’re really not doing anything about it.
One day you realize that you’re an adult and that all the talk happened to be adults knowing what they’re saying but not what they’re doing. You find yourself in a constantly changing maze in which the rules for one room do not constitute the rules for another. People you love come and go and everything is up for grabs. We find ourselves turning to others to fill needs not met by the ones we’re with.
Enter Naked Chats. It’s 1am and you’re online, talking with a friend. Both of you are tired. You strip yourself down to your flaws; your honest assessment of yourself. On the Internet talking with your friend you have no one you need to impress –you already know the person. It’s a matter of listening to what the other person has to say or is trying to say. It’s about the delicate desires residing internally that cry out to be filled from their darkness; the request blinks at you as it’s your turn to type back what you need to say. It’s a matter of the questions that maybe you’re afraid to look up in books, or that books have no answer for. Call it finding the solace of friends and relating with them on a sexual nature.
And there’s no denying the attraction to the concept. Maybe you’re attracted to the person you’re chatting with, maybe not. Imagine that cybersex meets emotional purging as much about figuring out how love works as it is fantasizing about other possibilities. Feeding our internal emotions and questions to others we receive answers and play tug-of-war with notions, eventually rewarding ourselves with fantasy.
But why naked chatting? Is it the arousal of finding out what makes the other person tick? Or is it unloading upon someone else what makes our tick, what turns us on, what works or doesn’t work for us? Is it a comfort of not seeing someone, not feeling the judgment of another person, and massively expunging the dark sensuality of our needs? Or the simplicity of cutting through the garbage shouting out a none sugar-coated or fluffed-up version of events?
As much as we need someone close to us that we feel we can talk to we need to find someone who will listen without prejudice; without knowing us. The bartender serving your beer. The woman sitting next to you at the airport. The person standing in line next to you. We can be as isolated as we want but there’s something inside that makes us want to reach out and be social. In the field of relationships, or love and sex, you don’t want to be the only person who feels the way you do. You don’t want to speak to your other, or maybe you feel that you can’t. Just like naked chats you want to be honest and forthcoming with the details but you don’t want to know the person –anonymity will give you the most honest assessment of what’s going on with you. Need to know what to do about the boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/person you’re cheating with? Ask a stranger.
These releases can have conditions as well as consequences. While third party candidates are usually a one-way road naked chats are not. You get what you put in and vice-versa. The more you put in, the more you should get back and the less you do, etc. The only real drawbacks are in the amount of emotional trust that is placed in the other individual and keeping a certain level of responsibility –if the person you are naked chatting with has a significant other issues could come about none the least of which is a certain amount of addiction to the practice that could make relationship dam cracks into fissures that just get worse. As always with either responsibility has to be observed but if done right and acceptably, either could be just what you need.
Naked Chats sounds kind of disappointing. Though it's probably better than guys trying to show me their penises. Ewwww.
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