Taken from 2012: So, you want to be a movie star?

Hidden in the back of the cultural mindset is the image of someone stepping off of a bus in front of the Gates of Los Angeles. Suitcase in hand the person marches into the “lion’s den” with hopes, dreams, and aspirations of getting that “one shot” that will propel them into fame and fortune; gracing magazine covers and their 15 minutes on E! The whole scene is filmed in black-and-white with light music playing in the background.

I never wanted to be an actor; I wanted to be a filmmaker. I grew up on “Star Wars,” “Indiana Jones,” and the like; movies that Kevin Smith endlessly references for his career. At one point, yes, I wanted to be the next Spielberg. Sadly I woke up one day and asked myself if there was a story I really wanted to tell. Maybe I will get back to that someday.

I’ve never pulled cable or held an umbrella over an actor or actress to keep the sun off them. I’ve never taken directions from the set manager, worked as a “best boy,” or even been on a multi-million dollar set. To my credit I have done my own projects which included a sexual harassment PSA. I have also screened movies, worked in a movie theatre, and been a clerk at a Hollywood Video. There ya go.

One day, while on unemployment, I received an e-mail saying that an independent film was being shot in La Grange and extras were needed. Why not? The pay was $20 and, while not scale, it didn't seem a bad idea. All I had to do was wake up early Saturday morning, drive to La Grange (15 minutes from me) and pretend to be part of a town watching a trial. No worries. I found two nice changes of clothing and Saturday morning drvoe out to the courthouse.

First call was at 7:30am and just about every person imaginable was there. Old, young, male, female; this was "open casting." Periodically someone would check in with us and tell us that we were starting soon. Around 8:30am we were told that we would need to go ahead and change but before doing so had to have our clothes "cleared" with wardrobe. Having brought mine in my backpack one of the women looked at me, said, "Fine," and pointed me toward the bathroom to change.

Before I go too much further let me mention the stand-out person: Logan. Logan is a professional actor/extra who has worked on a few indie films. Of note he was dressed as if he came from the set of "Pirates of the Caribbean" and could do a dead-on Jack Sparrow imatation.

As we all sat in the main courtroom waiting to be called one of the actors, who happened to be the producer, introduced himself and said that we would soon be going upstairs into one of the larger courtrooms. I remembered him from a few years back - he directed a Christian movie that premiered at the Derby City Film Festival.

Moments later we were herded into a much larger courtroom, and older, courtroom on the second floor. The guy playing the "judge" sat looking (presumably) over his script. The producer and director scoured over our faces and moved us around according to visual aesthetic. My neighbor eventually became a young girl, 21, a bit medium-sized, who knew the producer from going to his church. She worked as a secretary for a church. In her hands was a book whose cover portrayed what I can only describe as "forbidden love among the Amish." Or pious. I guess there's a market for Christian romance novels.

In order to save money there was only one camera on the set: a RED. For those non-tech savvy, the RED is the current go-to in the field of cameras for filmmaking. It's also expensive which is probably the reason they only had one and the reason that each angle had to be covered at least three times. Time over money, money over time.

This was the situation: a "respected" member of the community was drunk as he was driving home one night and accidentally killed a little girl. He was being put on trial and expected to plead innocent but instead pleas guilty which shocks the small town gathered to observe the trial. I was to be one of the town members. Of note the guy playing the man on trial I vaguely remember from "Elizabethtown."

For hours it was pretending to be whispering about the trial goings-on. I had to turn to the girl to my right and pretend to be shocked that this guy just did what he did. I would try getting the girl next to me to "crack up" by saying stupid things. For instance she would say, "Can you believe that?" to which I reply in shock and awe with, "Yes! It's not butter!" After the third time she tuned-out my commentary.

Lunch occured around noon and it was catered. I had some bow-tie pasta, asparagus, rolls, and unsweet tea. The producer talked with me for a little bit about living in L.A., moving out to Ky, then splitting time being back in L.A. while shooting in Ky. I listened to others believe that what they were doing would lead them to the next "big break" and I could only think to myself: "Gee, I'm just doing this for shits and giggles."

When lunch convened we went back to the courtroom but now it was the "next day." I was placed a few rows behind where I had originally sat because I wasn't planning on attending on Sunday.

Not too much more to add to this story. There was a lot of standing up, sitting down, pretending to talk, pretending to be shocked and waiting for each shot to be set up. It seemed to take 5 minutes to setup a shot that would last mere seconds. 'Tis the world of film.

At the end of the day I collected my cash and went home. It was a fun sojourn but nothing I would make a career of.